Is my Future pre-destined?
Some will say, No! Others are dead set on it being Yes! That your future is set from the time you are born.
I believe YES, it is pre-destined, but that it’s not set in stone. I believe its based on what you are doing, what you are thinking and what your beliefs are NOW!
What future are YOU currently creating based on what you are currently doing, thinking and believing? More than likely nothing different to what’s happening right now.
What I am referring to is mindset. If your beliefs are limited to life being a struggle and just hard work, your future will be just like that. If you get sick of that and change your pattern of thoughts and beliefs, you change the path of your life and the future will therefore change direction.
(This concept may open a Pandora’s box of queries and questions for you. You may wish to ponder this and think before you continue reading, feel free.)
For example someone who spends their life waiting for bad things to happen, they expect a tragedy or some situation that will ruin their happiness. Will experience just that. What you put your focus on, you will get. Someone who expects their life will be a struggle and will always experience difficult times, will get just that in their life. When one consciously changes their thinking, when one changes what they focus on, then, their future path changes.
Sometimes neurological re-programing needs to happen to achieve this. There are different ways, there’s therapy, NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and other methods. Sometimes, like me, it’s sheer determination, stubbornness and a burning desire for change.
That is why I don’t believe it’s set in stone. I am living proof. I used to think my life was hard, that everything I did was a struggle. I believed that I didn’t deserve a good partner, I believed that I had to work hard in my job and I still wouldn’t get ahead, I believed that bad things happened to me to sabotage my happiness. That I was a bad person, so I deserved hardship. So that, is EXACTLY what I was getting! I was blaming outside sources and focusing on all that negativity.
As I mentioned above and explained in a previous blog post titled “How to create a different Outcome”, I got to a point that I was tired of that. I decided I needed to change. Changing my thoughts, beliefs and focus, have allowed my path to change.
How did I do this? It’s the question on everyone’s lips. I’m still doing it. I haven’t mastered it, it’s still something I do every day.
I started with addressing my self worth. I did an online course to help with that. Many don’t realise how much I despised myself. So turning that around was the beginning of the new Mel.
Then there was meditation, being in the present moment, rather than in my head. Being in my head kept me wallowing in bad events in the past. The past and future are just constructs of the mind, they aren’t real, the only real thing, is right NOW! I still meditate regularly, especially if I find I need to ground myself because I am getting back into my head.
A gratitude journal was another thing to help me. To start by writing down every day things I was grateful for, this was for a full 30 days. Then I addressed the shit in my head from the past. I made myself find things in those nightmares to be grateful for. To find gratitude in those nightmares created healing, it allowed me to let them go. The chains I had to those events that haunted me day and night just crumbled away. They stopped consuming me and I was free to live in the NOW!
Then there was monthly therapy. I urge you to find the therapist that suits you. Don’t keep seeing one that you don’t like, you won’t benefit from it at all. Then, keep seeing them every month, even when u feel you are doing better, releasing everything once a month is healthy. I also did some life coaching sessions to address my nightmares, to see the source of my limiting beliefs, that chick was amazing, can’t thank her enough!!
I also use awareness, I can see when I fall back into negative self talk and mindsets. I identify what I am doing then acknowledge it and remind myself that I don’t need that anymore and change the thought to a positive one. It works wonders.
Lastly the Four agreements by Ruiz Don Miguel, I practise those agreements daily. They are:
That’s why I don’t consider myself to be a master, I am a beautiful work in progress, an important part of the universe. I am also here to help others, by doing what I do and inspiring others on the way, it keeps me on track and keeps my future destined for the awesome things I am putting into it!