Living

I found a cute quote today and it had a profound effect on me.

It is this:

Here’s why;

I have existed for a huge part of my life. So what? I hear you thinking. Well, existing isnt living.  It’s just surviving. Just making it through another day. Just scraping by. Just… 

It isn’t appreciating moments or finding enjoyment in your day.  It isn’t enjoyable and its not having things or something to look forward to.  I had lost my spark, my desire, my passion.  I didn’t realise this for a long time.  I just was. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t have goals anymore. Life was just too hard.  I just plodded on in the same mindset, not really going anywhere or achieving anything at all.  Some might say I was stuck, or in a rut or depressed.  

I had to hit rock bottom, before I could see where I was.  It wasn’t a good time at all.  However, it was the turning point.  It made me face myself.  See what I was doing, not doing and also completely avoiding and face reality.  It made me choose the next step.  I chose life, chose to take my life into my own hands and start actually living it, rather than existing in it.

I wasn’t a survivor or a victim anymore.  I was the main character in my story.  The story that I decided needed new chapters.  The story that I now chose to write and not leave to chance or let others write for me.  So many new possibilities and new pages of the story book of my life, all fresh waiting to be explored.  I had purpose and fire in my belly again.

So that quote made me see where I am.. right now.  It made me see how far I have come, that I AM living again, I love my self, my life, my choices, my children, MY STORY.  By finding how to love again.  I also now have a wonderful partner in my life.  The story keeps getting written, better and better..